March 23rd 1998

Simon Lane, Director of Cambridge Trishaws Limited is sueing the Cambridgeshire City Council.

The dispute is over the fact that the poeple vs Simon Lane want Simon to shut up when he takes them anywhere - and Simon is saying that not only does he have a right to talk wherever or whenever he want's but it is the council's fault that it rains all the time and so he is sueing them for loss of earings, earnings and for the right to speak.

Unknown to Simon Lane, back in 1286 a bill was passed through a small but enthusiastic government to make it illegal to talk very much if you had blond hair and you were called Simon.

Unknown to the council is just how long Simon can talk for.

Simon was more than available for comment but I went off to stick needles in my eyes.

You can reach 'simon lane' at srl (AT) cb1.com