April 20th 1998

Chris Tighe-Ford is learning HTML sources say.

Chris started off life as a tadpole living in a research lab in Area 51, USA. A freak accident involving a cleaner and some Alien shit infected the testube Chris was in as a tadpole and he soon started to develop human features.

He grew arms, feet, ears, a nose and a backside - but unfortunately his face bears no human resemblance at all. Also his brain never grew either - and he has been left with the original tadpole brain that he was born with.

Unable to reproduce because he is so unattractive or carry out many bodily functions due to having such a small brain - it stood to reason that he became a Web designer.

Not having really done much at all - Chris sits in his office all day swearing at Giuliano and Mark Cheverton. He occassionally scratches his ill formed head and waits for the pub to open.

His move into HTML was suprising, people close to him (wish that they weren't) say that it will be suprising if he ever learns to master tables. Others commented on that he has been swearing even more lately and is looking a lot worse. It is possible that this unprecedented brain action could kill him.

Tony Jewell, his landlord and colleague said, "I could kill Damien for ever intorducing him to me - and have you got any weed?".

Mark Cheverton, director of Hypereality Systems Ltd says that he has nearly collected enough money together to have Chris laid.

Giuliano said something in Italian and threw his monitor in Chris's direction

So as yet - the public waits to see whether Chris will ever learn HTML or become a succesful webdesigner.

You can reach 'chris' at the six bells, covent garden.