Testimony
Like many of my friends, I became a Christian in several
stages... and I see this as a walk which is continuing, and will
continue for the rest of my life. And yet I can say that I had a
conversion experience... but would rather say that the conversion
experience is a continuing one.
My conversion went something like this:
- brought up with a Christian background (1963 onwards)...
my
father was a priest in the Church of England
- felt some sense of being called by God to do something (the day
I graduated from my first
degree, summer 85)
- encountered the Franciscans, and noticed there was something
special about their life, something to do with their prayer life
- heard at an evangelistic/preaching meeting that God the Father
loves us as much as he loves God his own Son... this was when I
first thought of myself as ``born again'', but there was more
to come...
- became a postulant, then a novice and eventually full member,
of the Franciscan Third
Order... more and more I felt the call to live simply,
growing with the call to pray and to follow Christ
- read the book ``A
Hidden Fire'' by Br. Ramon SSF: a significant turning
point!
- started to sing and pray in tongues, actually at a very low
point in my life
- read the booklet ``The Road to Life'' and
gave my sins
over to Christ, at a University mission meeting... for
those who like to pin-point a particular moment as the moment
of conversion, this was mine!
Since then, one of the things that most moved me into deeper faith
has been hearing the recital of St. John's Gospel (at the Cambridge
Univeristy Mission 1997, ``Unmasked'', still in progress at the time
of writing!)) by Paul Alexander... really bringing it alive, speaking
from memory and making it sound extempore, as though he were the
original Evangelist giving a talk, and slipping from the narrator into
each of the characters in turn.
By ``deeper'', I mean not only stronger in terms of its effects on
me (I think) but also more focused on the love God has for us, and
less on ``religious'' views (although doctrine and practice are still
just as important to me as before -- in fact, more so); the central
preacher in triggering this change has been Bishop Richard Holloway;
I'm not happy with all that he says, but he has an important emphasis
on God's love!
Since then, I've been becoming in some sense more ``liberal'' and
relational, less rule-minded and mechanistic, in my faith, and a new
series of changes is in progress:
- I found that, as a non-standard person (e.g. trying to think
for myself rather than following what most people do) I didn't
really fit, and in some cases wasn't welcome, in many church
activities.
- Having in the past wanted to be involved in church things
(which made (1) above hurt) I found that, as I had become more
confident as I grew older, not only did I not generally feel any
strong desire to get closely involved, but my need for personal space in a religious
context grew.
- The Third Order became more bureaucratic, and politically
correct, and I left it.
- I had previously attended Communion every Sunday, at the same
church except when away, but I detached from that; my emphasis on
the Eucharist remains, but sometimes I pray at home instead, because
I can concentrate more on God without other people around.
John C. G. Sturdy
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Last modified: Mon Nov 12 10:53:34 GMT 2007
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